When I was young, I had a large group of friends, but as soon as I moved, they dropped like flies. Granted, I was not great at keeping in contact, but neither side tried very hard, which made me realise that we were not actually good friends. When I got to university, I started out in a large group of friends. The more time I spent with them, the less I realised I had in common with them. Drinking and smoking were almost daily activities, which I do not have a problem with. I love the occasional pint or glass of wine, or ever letting loose and getting drunk sometimes, but not as often as it was happening.
As I entered my second year, I felt like I had very few friends and it really got me feeling insecure. It wasn’t until I look back now that I realise it was all for the best. I have a small group of friends, both old and new, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. It does mean that I find myself without someone to hang out with sometimes, but there is value in being able to be in your own company. When everyone was away for spring break and I found myself alone in Boston, I expressed that to someone and they apologised to me and felt bad for me. I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I had time to spring clean the apartment, organize my closet, hike with my dog, read, and do so many other things I hadn’t had time to do.
So often, people who have large groups of friends, don’t have as many close friends who would do anything for them as those with fewer friends. I keep people in my life who would do just as much for me, as I would for them. If they aren’t adding to your life or don’t make an effort, they aren’t worth your time or energy. If they flake on plans repeatedly, lie, make excuses, and so on, then it is time to let them go from your life. It can be very hard, but in the long run, it will be worth it. People can only have so many chances in life. That may sound pessimistic, but it has gotten me this far. I am all for second chances, but not 5th or 6th chances. I am so greatful for the group of people I have in my life and I hope that everyone can be as lucky as me in the same regard. A phrase that I have heard and love is that “I would rather have 4 quarters than 10 dimes”. It still adds up to a dollar, but each quarter contributes much more towards the dollar than a dime.